Thursday, November 15, 2012

Bilgewater Harbor

Straining to lift bags overstuffed with a lifetime’s worth of work, I tottered down from the train carriage as dozens of goblins hopped off around me.  Dressed in shabby suits and borrowed hats they’d crammed themselves into the compartment, arms and heads sticking out from the tiny windows.

Behind me, Daj’yah struggled with a too-large briefcase, bought on the cheap from a merchant in the Goblin Slums.  I waited at the cement platform, smelling the once-crisp northern air laden with new smog.  Putting down the bags, I reached out to help her disembark.

The Darkspear Tribe had stood fast against the angry mob but all knew that Mogrug’s friends would never abandon their grudge.  Troll watchers had spotted orcs hiding in the shadows near the Darkbriar Lodge as soon as the next night.  All decided that it would be best for Daj’yah to leave for a while.  Contacts in the goblin mage community gave us the means to reach the dubious safety of Bilgewater Harbor.

I remember Azshara as an untamed wilderness, the whims of its long-departed queen having frozen it in an eternal autumn.  Overnight, the goblins had turned it into a vast workshop, at once fascinating and a bit horrifying.  I have always tried to put myself on the side of progress but the speed and rapaciousness with which the goblins had torn out ancient trees and demolished entire mountains disturbed even me.

Rocket-trains scream along elevated rails past denuded forests still bearing fringes of their old autumnal glory.  We’d taken the train used by goblin laborers who commute between squalid villages and Orgrimmar’s munitions plants.  At the southern terminus of the rail, we boarded a steamer to Bilgewater Harbor itself, Kezan reborn on a smaller scale.

Upon reaching the ferry we bought our fare and put the bags in steerage, the area little more than a cramped metal corridor with coffin-like slots for beds.  Occupied sleeping bags covered most of the floor, though our comparatively large sizes gave us no choice but to rest outside.

Cold and briny winds washed over us as we stood at the prow, Bilgewater Harbor a solitary electric mountain in the ocean.  We could see the monstrous cannon atop the city, the front shaped like a goblin’s screaming head.  Presented as a gift from the Bilgewater Cartel to the Horde, the Grand Cannon is the biggest weapon in the world.  Many claim that its shells can actually hit Stormwind City, though the fact that it’s never been used casts doubt on such boasts.

“So this is where I’m going to live?” sighed Daj’yah.  She’d accepted the news of her leaving Orgrimmar with an acceptance bordering on indifference.  The city’s charms no longer held much meaning for her.

“You’ll get used to it.  I’ve usually enjoyed my time in goblin cities.  Admittedly most of them were Steamwheedle-owned.  Besides, you don’t have to stay here.  There are plenty of other cities.”

A shrill whistle announced the start of the journey, the ferry creaking to life as it chugged across the polluted waters.  All the while the glaring corona of Bilgewater Harbor, thrilling and monstrous, filled our sights.   

We finally reached the city’s quays the next evening, our little ship skirting between the floating hulks of Horde cruisers and goblin barges.  Bilgewater Harbor is the Horde’s primary naval base in the west.  Orcish admirals complain that the temptations of the city subvert crew discipline.

Daj’yah held the rails as we passed mere inches from the metal prows of Horde vessels that jutted up from the waters like giant teeth.  Already we heard the clamor of the city, an orchestra of factories and motor vehicles, the occasional backfiring engine serving as percussion.

“All right, we’re at the harbor, get off my boat!” screeched the captain when the ferry at last came to a stop.

Pushed out with all the others we lugged our belongings onto a new shore.  I remembered when the spot had been nothing more than a rain-lashed rock.  Only the goblins could find use for such a place.

Most of the passengers scurried up ramps to lose themselves in the city’s brilliant cacophony.  Back in Orgrimmar, however, Zinzy had arranged for us to meet a wealthy goblin sorceress named Elazzi Mazwreg.  She’d let us stay in her home for a while.  Charity does not come naturally to the goblins, so I could only suspect she’d either been paid or had some ulterior motive.

If charity exists to ease despair, it is no wonder that the goblins have so little use for it.  The bloodiest disaster in the entire history of the race barely a year behind them, they’d already found new lives, striving upwards with dizzy abandon.  Street traders push carts loaded with cosmetics, spices, and every other product, faces lit up by the glare of electric signs promising the world.  I wondered how many goblins had lost loved ones in the eruption of Kezan.  Where does resilience turn into callousness?

“Destron!” shouted Daj’yah.  She tugged at my sleeve, pointing to her left where a gray open-air automobile idled in a stream of moving bodies, the driver holding up a sign with her name written on it. 

Getting closer we saw another goblin in the passenger seat.  Bold makeup applied to her face with artful care, her red hair a deliberately disarrayed mop on her head, she waved at us with a cigarette holder in her hand, the smoldering tip making figure eights in the air.

“Daj’yah!  It’s so wonderful to finally meet you!  I’m Elazzi Mazwreg, grand dame of magic in this berg!  Here, you and your friend slide into the back.  Joag, help them get their bags in the trunk, would you?”

“Right, miss.”

Joag, the driver, catapulted himself over the driver’s seat and ran to grab the bags.  His smallness belying his strength, he nimbly opened the trunk and put them in, each movement possessed of a machine’s artificial grace.  A little overwhelmed by the reception, I opened the door for Daj’yah before following her into the kodohide backseat.

“Joag, take us to the Kalimdor Cantina.  So how was your trip?  Safe and smooth, but not too boring, I hope?”

“Fine.  How do you know me?” asked Daj’yah.  Her eyes darted back and forth, and she looked half-ready to bolt.  She flinched when Joag blasted the horn, the car still mired in the crowd.

“You’re a big name here in Bilgewater, at least among us mages.  Your book, Flame and Shadow, is still all the rage!”

“Wait, Flame and Shadow?  That’s just a treatise, not enough for a book.”

“Sells better if it’s called a book.  We spruced it up, added some forwards and commentary by big names in the arcane industry.  But your writing is the meat of the book, what it rests on.”

“When did this happen?  I didn’t think anyone outside of Orgrimmar had read it.”

“Oh, six months ago, I think?  Right when the first printing presses got back up into gear.”  Beneath us, the auto finally picked up speed as Joag cleared the docks, steering uphill through narrow streets pressed in on both sides by walls of light and metal.

“How did it get here?”

“Someone in the Goblin Slums brought it in, I bought it from him—fellow’s keen on wizardry, but a dummy for finance—and got it published.”

“Oh.  That’s good?”

“Of course, of course!  Daj’yah, you’re a star!  I got a nice and tidy profit from your book.  And don’t worry, you’ll get your cut.  It’s hard to wire money to Orgrimmar; every time you do, the warchief and the trade prince both decide to grab a piece.  Better to do it face to face, when the taxman isn’t looking.”

I yelped as another auto, twice as tall as ours and on wheels as narrow as coins swung less than an inch away from the door, the side view-mirror filling my vision for one horrifying instant.  Throwing myself to the side, I watched as the ramshackle vehicle rolled downhill, swinging around pedestrians.

“There’s a thousand people here you have to meet!”  Elazzi hadn’t noticed the near crash.  Gingerly sitting back up, I resolved to keep a closer eye on my surroundings, a task made difficult by the sheer variety on show, a thousand faces and electric signs in every imaginable language whooshing by.

“Oh, they told me about you… Destron, is it?”


“We’re happy to have you on board too.  Daj’yah, is this your first time in Bilgewater Harbor?”  

“Ah, yes.  Forgive me, Elazzi, I’m very weary.  We’ve been traveling a long ways.  Could we maybe just go to your home?”

“Oh, you have to make an appearance!  It’ll be short, all you have to do is smile and say hello.  Kalimdor Cantina is the place to be these days.”

“All right, if it’s short, but don’t be expecting me to say much.”

“I’ll do all the talking.”

Still going uphill, Joag swung a knife-sharp turn to the right, going up an alley just large enough for the auto to squeeze through.  Darker than the last street, bulging wooden platforms hung over us on both sides, the gap between criss-crossed by metal planks.  Pushed out of the street level, the goblins sold wares up on top. Ahead, I saw a trader lean over the edge and dangle a lush red jacket, still on its hanger, over the street.

“Great prices, great looks!” he shouted at us as we sped past him.

Surrounded by all this action, the sense of invigoration in the filthy air spread to me, ideas spinning within ideas, the whole world an opportunity. 

“The Bilgewater Cartel certainly seems to have recovered,” I said, shouting to make myself heard.

“Disaster is another word for opportunity, my friend.  I admit I thought Gallywix was a fool to want to buy Azshara, but it turns out the place is loaded with resources.  I had maybe three coppers to scrape together after the Cataclysm, but I invested them in mainland resource extraction and I’m a rich woman again!”

“What do you think about the trade prince?”

“Smarter than I thought.  I figured he’d take Azshara to himself, but he’s actually letting investors in.  I heard the tauren are trying to buy it all up to stop some of the logging, but they’ve got a ways to go before they get majority shares.”

Azshara has, in fact, become a vital part of the Horde’s food production in spite of the land’s poor quality.  Agricultural technology has expanded greatly over the past ten years, the result of engineering, magic, druidism, and shamanism working together (though not always without controversy).  Wheat grows on land that would have been useless during the Third War.

Many of the orcish ranches in the Northern Barrens were wiped out during and after the Cataclysm.  Rebuilding has been slow due to distance and poor regional infrastructure.  Most efforts go towards seizing Ashenvale, which is a questionable strategy as the soil there is of poor quality (though Ashenvale’s lumber is the real impetus for the invasion).  For now, Azshara’s farms pick up the slack, though they are subject to diminishing returns (ranches in Ashenvale would also have this problem).  The Horde needs to focus on reclaiming the Northern Barrens, but many orcs fear that the land will never be safe so long as the Kaldorei rule the north.

Joag turned again, returning us to the electric daylight of the main streets.  Blasting the horn, he edged the auto onto the walkways, the rear tires sticking out into the street.  He struggled with the wheel for a bit, at last getting the vehicle more-or-less perpendicular to the curb.

“Here we are!  Kalimdor Cantina!  Best place to get a drink in all Bilgewater Harbor—except on the nights when there’s a party at my place!”

From the outside, the Kalimdor Cantina looked much like its neighbors, gray metal walls groaning under the weight of a heavy green roof. 

“I feel like I’m having a bad dream,” muttered Daj’yah.

“We can get her to take us back to her home if you’d like.  I’m sure she won’t force the issue.”

“No, I’m already here.  Just hope it doesn’t take too long.”

Elazzi practically pulled us inside, where dim lamps cast smoldering light on red walls.  Dozens of mismatched tables filled the common area and a small stage stood at the other end.  A quick look revealed how much the goblins had done with so little.  Most of the furniture looked as if it had been repurposed; one of the wooden tables still bore the imprint of “Bizzig Packaging Concern” beneath a tablecloth that might have once been a fisherman’s tarp.  The goblins within dressed as best they could, pushing felt flowers through holes in tattered jackets, cutting old potato sacks to fit and flatter.  Glamour and scarcity made surprisingly comfortable bedfellows.

“Elazzi!  Glad you could make it tonight.  And who are your guests?” inquired a bald goblin in a black suit, his pencil-thin moustache barely visible in the half-light.

“Daj’yah, one of the greatest minds in the arcane industry today, and Destron, a fearless explorer who’s been all over Azeroth and Outland.”

“Wonderful!  I’ll show you to your seats.”

He gave us a circular table not far from the stage, bits of sawdust clinging to the rim.  Elazzi immediately began telling us what to expect.

“The Bilgewater Big-Timers are giving a show tonight, so there’s going to be a lot of people.  Both of you are here to be seen, good way to announce your presence here.”

“Why do I want to announce my presence?  There are orcs who want to kill me!”

“In Orgrimmar!  You’re safe here.”

“No, I’m not!  I’m exhausted!  I’ve been traveling for days, carrying everything I own, and now you want me to be in some party?  You’re crazy!”

Elazzi raised her hands.

“Relax, relax.  Anger gives you wrinkles.  In Bilgewater Harbor, your best protection is to have a lot of friends.  The orcs might rule the Horde, but this is goblin territory and a bunch of orcish thugs won’t be able to get away with so much.  I’m in charge of every arcane publication; even in the age of radio, there’s a lot of money in print.  You make yourself valuable, and no one will dare lay a finger on you.  I’m sorry, Daj’yah, I know this is a lot.  We’ll keep it quiet tonight; the Big-Timers are going to be back next week and we can do something then.”

Gazing down at her hands, Daj’yah’s shoulders drooped.

“Fine.  I just want to get some sleep.”

“Anything you want, I’ll buy.  I’m a woman of wealth!”

Elazzi pointed out the local titans as the evening crowd filtered in, industrial lords rubbing shoulders with inventors and shipping magnates.  Hard times barely touched their splendor, bold confidence turning their ragged clothes into haute couture.   

“I visited Kezan briefly, and it seemed that goblins there were more constrained,” I commented.

“Oh, Kezan was awful.  After it blew up, most of the connections became just about worthless.  One of the trade prince’s old sycophants, Mogger, used to be in charge of transportation.  He didn’t have a clue what he was doing, but he worked the system and gave an extra big cut to Gallywix, so he stayed.

“So he dies, and the cartel needs transport more than ever.  The goblin with the big glob of red hair over there,” she said, pointing to a man a few tables away, “is now boss.  His named is Agrob Nolg, and thanks to him, Azshara has the fastest transportation infrastructure in all of Kalimdor.  Maybe not the safest, but what’s life without a little risk?  Agrob was nothing back in the old days, and lost every one he loved.  Now, he’s a king.”

“He’s not bothered by that?” wondered Daj’yah.

“We all lost people.  My daughter, Nenny, died.  I tried to get her, but everyone was running towards the docks, and I couldn’t get through the crowd—but I’m still alive, and crying won’t bring her back.  Besides, if there is an afterlife, I'm pretty sure that the dead are more interested in making money there than in listening to us weep about them.”


Leaning from atop the steel roof of the Gizlibbet Foundry like a crooked finger, Elazzi’s mansion is bigger than it first appears, the cramped rooms seeming to spiral inwards in defiance of logic or sound construction.  Metal struts connected to the neighboring warehouse support the off-kilter top floor, while the lower levels receive the full brunt of the foundry’s smoke. 

“Smoke adds character,” said Elazzi by way of explanation.

I slept in a tiny parlor tucked away somewhere between the first and second floors, furnished by empty crates (painted in garish shades to add color) and a thick tauren-style rug.  Scarcity of consumer goods and Elazzi’s busy schedule kept her from decorating most of the rooms.  Daj’yah slept in a narrow bedchamber up a stairway that doubled as a hall.  She spent the entirety of the first full day there, trying to regain her strength.

The combination of narrow corridors and fiery heat is reminiscent of Warsong Hold, though Elazzi’s home is far more pleasant.  Open windows let in the cool Azshara air and most rooms have at least some concession to comfort.  The mazelike interior proves initially bewildering, and one has to explore the place a few times before really getting used to the layout.

A wrong turn in the narrow (and somewhat drafty) top floor brought me to a tiny room that might be better described as a closet.  Behind a red curtain I found a small circular table made of mahogany (suggesting that it had been recently imported from the south—an expensive endeavor in this day and age).  Lit candles surrounded a framed black-and-white photograph of a goblin girl, probably no more than eight years old.  A tiny porcelain bowl holding fresh banana pudding slowly cooled in front of the picture, an old tin spoon lying next to it.

I closed the curtain, not wishing to intrude on the sacred. 

Going back down to the first floor, I reflected on what little I knew about goblin religious beliefs.  Ancient goblins had casually acknowledged a vague godhead called Uz, who sneered at those who spent their time praying instead of accruing profit.  Organized belief in Uz disappeared centuries before the First War, and he only lives on in oaths (which, if the ancient texts are any indication, he would find quite satisfactory).

Regardless of its piety, a society still needs ways to heal its sick and injured.  Shamans fulfilled the role throughout much of early goblin history, but contact with the miraculous healing abilities exhibited by trollish and human priests inspired the goblins to research this role.

Belief in a metaphysical (as opposed to merely philosophical or ideological) force greater than oneself seems a prerequisite for tapping into the psychic powers that are at the core of the priest’s abilities.  This is the scientific view; priests of Elune or the Loa maintain that their talents are divine gifts, as do a fair number of the more zealous Light-worshippers (the draenei combine the two, arguing that the mental discipline itself is a gift from on high).

Before the First Trade War, goblin priests tended to mix the roles of healer and huckster.  No unified church existed and hedge priests roamed the highways of Kezan performing miracles in the name of the Loa, the Light, and anything else that came to mind.  They’d work themselves into frenzies and clearly believed every word they said, brushing aside any contradiction.

The surviving trade groups quickly snatched up these miracle workers (as they were sometimes called) once they consolidated their holdings after the First Trade War.  Most priests now work as full-time employees for various cartels and may follow any religion.  Utter pragmatism describes the Bilgewater health program, and an employee must meet a certain level of profitability to receive any medical care at all.

Flashing a grin that seemed carved onto his face, Azdro Viglid emanated cheerful grandiosity from every pore.  I found him at the docks as I explored the city during my first day, where he had just closed a gaping wound on a worker’s leg.  The goblin thanked Azdro as he finished and the priest raised his arms.

“I accept your thanks!  And thank your own contribution to the Bilgewater Cartel and the Holy Light!  We all march together, and we can only keep pace through the efforts of goblins like you!” proclaimed Azdro.  His bright orange suit made him look more like a clown than a priest.

We introduced ourselves a few minutes later, and retired to dingy outdoor café squeezed into a narrow alley.  I bought Azdro a cup of coffee and he grinned wider than I thought possible.

“I am most truly a believer in the Holy Light, and I hope you are the same.  The Bilgewater Cartel is simply the best means of fulfilling my faith,” he said by way of explanation.

“Forgive me if I’m relying too much on the human interpretation, but the Light postulates that all thinking beings are united on a metaphysical level.  Does this ever create a conflict of interest with your employers’ demands?”

“Priests march in armies don’t they?  They heal their charges and bring holy wrath down on the enemy, no matter who’s really right or wrong.  Moral monopolies don’t appear in most wars, but the priests always think they’re righteous.”

“That is a fair point,” I conceded.

“Destron, you and I have both read the same book, that wonderful, singular, fantastical book, the Exegesis of Light.  What is the second virtue of the Light?  Tenacity, my friend.  This is a sorry world of sin and sadness, and we can’t always have things the way we want them.  Some might pretend to be always on the side of the right; I just try to do as little harm as I can.”

“That does seem a rather glib response.  Few will deny that there is much evil, but to simply accept it without trying to change—“

“Hold on!  I do plenty good, probably more than you!  I heal thousands every month, from old goblins suffering pneumonia to little children creaking on broken bones.  There are priests who work outside the system, and they charge folks a fortune!  My pay comes out of my clients’ revenue, so it’s all fair.”

“Pardon me, I did not mean to offend.”

“I’m a bit of a hothead, so don’t mind me if I start shouting!” he laughed.  “There are rogues out there that heal unprofitable employees.  Clients typically can’t pay them back—there’s a reason they’re unprofitable, after all—and go into debt slavery.  More of them now, with all the independents roaming Kalimdor.

“Listen, I’m the first to point out the flaws of the system.  But after the First Trade War, we had to organize things.  Bilgewater isn’t perfect, but it’s a good sight better than the Venture Company.  I know that some of the Steamwheedle priests talk about the free exchange of the market being the true representation of the Light or some nonsense, but most of us are realists.  I believe because faith lets me do my job, which is helping people.  I can help more by working in the system.”

“What if—and this is purely hypothetical—you worked outside of it without charging exorbitantly?”

“I’d still be run out of town once the bruisers caught sight of me.  That’s why the freelancers charge so much; it’s a big risk for them.”

Those who see the miraculous healing abilities of priests may wonder why something so simple requires a monetary transaction at all.  While healing spells are fast and do not consume resources, the fact remains that achieving even the most basic level of proficiency requires years of study and prayer.  Only a minority of Azeroth’s clergy actually possesses the ability to heal; most fulfill ritual or scholarly roles.

In a sense, the various churches of the Light are not too dissimilar in function to the medical infrastructure of the Bilgewater Cartel.  For both, healing is a free service.  The church pays priests through money gained from tithes, while the cartel collects money from rent and fees.  Priests of Elune or the Loa receive ad hoc societal compensation for their efforts. 

However, priests in the Eastern Kingdoms are charged with healing everyone, including criminals, the impoverished, and those who oppose the church.  The one exception is during times of war, in which case a priest may choose to abstain from healing the enemy.  When the human kingdoms fought each other in days of yore, battle priests typically healed wounded enemy prisoners.  They showed less mercy when fighting nonhumans. 

Built on a tiny island in the Bay of Storms, Bilgewater Harbor is routinely battered by freezing squalls.  Great waves crash against the rocky shore, threatening to overturn the berthed vessels.  The worst storms render street travel impossible, so the goblins use the jury-rigged walkways that connect the city’s roofs.  From Elazzi’s house we could see dozens of goblins jostling each other across the narrow paths, often without rails.  Elazzi claims that falls are quite rare, though I rather doubt that anyone is keeping track.  At the very least, the goblins are a surefooted race.

One such rainy afternoon found me in Elazzi’s house with Daj’yah.  On a lark, we’d started brewing a pot of coffee in the trollish style, black and bitter with the grinds floating in the drink.  Finishing up in the kitchen we carried the pot to an adjacent parlor, using a ladle to fill the small porcelain cups.  Daj’yah had brought the ladle from Orgrimmar.  Stylized bats flew along the handle, wings chiseled on the basin itself.  The imagery symbolized Hir’eek, the Loa of knowledge and wisdom whose domain also contains coffee.

“I still can’t get used to the way goblins drink.  They’re just taking one cup on their own, shoot it down, and put it away.  They aren’t enjoying it proper!” she laughed.  Coffee is a social drink among the trolls; saying that someone drinks coffee alone indicates that he is arrogant or greedy.  Back in the Darkbriar Lodge, we often drank while working.  Considering how often we conferred and debated, it still counted as social.

“What do you think of the taste?”

“The taste is all right.  Different, like everything else here.  Do you think it’s strange how Elazzi goes to every party she can find, but still seems lonely?”

“She never struck me as lonesome.”

“It’s there, I’m thinking.  She goes around but she doesn’t know anyone.  None of the goblins do.  And yeah, I know it’s strange for me to say that.  Maybe I was more a part of the tribe than I thought,” she sighed.

“Do you miss Orgrimmar?”

“Sometimes.  But I know I didn’t like being there all that much, so I try not to think about it.  Bilgewater Harbor is not a bad place, but I start getting tired with so much going on all the time.  Every moment the goblins are busy.”

“They all believe that they’ll soon be rich,” I said.

“But most of them won’t be.”

“Perhaps.  But the belief seems to make them happier.  I think it’s just the way goblin psychology works.”

“We Darkspear always lived expecting to die the next day.  Too often, we did just that.  So we always stuck to the tribe, since if one of us died, some of those around us still lived.  I don’t think the goblins feel that way about their bosses.”

“No, not at all.  It’s a very individualistic society, even with the trade princes interfering.”

“I never thought I fit in with the Darkspear, but seeing how all these goblins go at it alone, I’m not so sure.  But all the excitement is interesting.”

“Speaking of goblins, I do wonder how much longer Elazzi will let me stay here.”

“You’re with me, why would she make you leave?”

“You’re well-known, Daj’yah.  I’m not.  It’s not fair for me to impose on her hospitality when I really can’t offer much for her.  Goblins expect reciprocity,” I said.  I remembered Spirra, the goblin pilot whose life I’d saved in the Blasted Lands.  She’d insisted on paying me back what she thought her life was worth, a value she’d taken great pains to calculate accurately.

“Elazzi likes you.”

“She does, but probably not enough to justify my living in her house, taking her coffee.  I’ll ask her about it.”

“Maybe you could tell her about her Gilnean adventure?  Stories are a type of payment.”

“She might accept that, but I’m not sure I trust her enough to tell her.  I was actually thinking I might visit Mount Hyjal for a while.”

“Again?  We shouldn’t have let you out of Orgrimmar; once you go, you can’t stop.”

“Hyjal’s not that far, and most of the fire elementals have been removed.  Why don’t you join me?” I suggested.

“No.  Thanks, but no.  I’m still getting used to this place.  Besides, I think there’s another hundred people Elazzi wants me to meet.  Most of the goblins here haven’t heard of me, but they all pretend to.”

“How can you be sure?”

“One of them thought I was a fashion model for some reason.  Another had me for a priestess.  But they all say they’ve heard of me since I’m Elazzi’s friend,” she laughed.  “I do like Elazzi, though she’s right strange.  If I had her energy, I’d be writing a whole library of books every month!

“Oh, if you do decide to jaunt up to Hyjal, send me a telegraph if they have such things,” she added.

“I’ll do just that,” I promised.

Pleased at Daj’yah’s improved mood, I held the coffee cup in both hands, my right trying to feel the warmth through the thin porcelain.


A little more than a month had passed since my arrival.  Eager to visit new places, I’d arranged for a seat on a flight to Mount Hyjal.  The Horde’s presence on the sacred mountain has been vastly reduced but freelancers and less jingoistic partisans still find reasons to visit.  I earned my keep in Elazzi’s house by writing ad copy for the mainland resource extraction operations in which she’d invested. 

Daj’yah entertained herself by observing the tics and habits of the wealthy goblins to who she was regularly introduced.  She and Elazzi became unlikely friends, though Daj’yah began to attend fewer of the endless parties and meetings.  She convinced Elazzi that she would be of more social value if made a scarcer commodity.  Daj’yah preferred to have time for her writing, and the interaction with goblin mages had given her new ideas to pursue, and new connections with which to do so.

I did not visit the Grand Cannon until near the end of my stay in Bilgewater Harbor.  Sticking into the sky like a leprous arm clawing out from a grave it serves an oppressive reminder of the state of war that exists between the Horde and the Alliance.

The crowds thin at the top of the summit and heavily armed bruisers keep constant watch over the place.  Chemicals and lubricants give the air a greasy sort of stink.  The Grand Cannon must be ready to fire at all times by order of the warchief, necessitating a small fortune spent on maintenance.

I spoke to a tired-looking mechanic while he rested from his labors.

“Putting this rig together was the last thing Gallywix did before hiding himself away.  No one’s fired the damn thing.”

“Will it really be able to destroy Stormwind City?”

“They say that, but like I said it’s never been tested.  The shell might not even reach Stormwind.  Or it might just explode in the chamber and take out the entire city.”  He grunted, rubbing his hands together. 

“You don’t sound very optimistic.”

“Look, I’m as forward-looking as anyone else, but you have to test something before you can claim it’s useful!  That’s just how it’s done!  As long as it doesn’t explode on us, I’ll count myself happy.”

Warchief Hellscream has often proclaimed that only cowards kill defenseless civilians.  However, if the Grand Cannon lives up to its promises and is able to hit Stormwind City, it would be an atrocity on a level not seen since the Third War.  I do not know if the warchief has thought of this.

Many of the great armament factories cluster on the slopes below the Grand Cannon, smoky hives of metal and flame.  Smithing is hardly the same art it was a mere ten years ago.  I remember being astonished by the amount of labor it took for a blacksmith to make a single sword back in old Lordaeron.

Today, enchantments on the metal make it predisposed to take certain shapes.  The blacksmith just has to guide it into the appropriate form.  A reasonably capable worker can produce dozens in a single working day.  This assumes that the said worker is motivated, which is unfortunately not necessarily the case. 

“It’s no secret,” remarked an off-duty worker named Lugz, whose domino mask of old burns showed the exact size and shape of his goggles.  “My boss needs to produce a certain number of weapons for the Horde each week.  He also wants to make a profit.

“So, once we finish production for the Horde, which just pays a fixed price, never mind the quality, we start making other weapons.  These go to partisans, independent groups, you get the idea.”

“There’s more profit in this?” I asked.

“It adds to the total.  If you’re smart, like me, you just laze through the quota.  We’ll get it done, but all the effort goes into the unofficial stuff we make.  I get paid more if I really show my stuff doing that, because that’s what my boss cares about.”

“You… you aren’t afraid you’ll get in trouble for this?  That someone will report it?”

His eyes narrowed.

“I’m the company’s best producer when it comes to the unofficial weapons, so my boss listens to me.  My boss meets the quota, so the orc generals listen to him.  The generals have to make sure that the army gets enough weapons, or else Hellscream kills them.  Do you really think these generals are going to rock the boat?”

I had one final duty in Azshara.  I awoke early the day after my visit to the Grand Cannon and walked quickly down the streets in the cold morning darkness, pushing a wooden cart half-crushed under the weight of its cargo.  Rain from the previous evening poured down from gutters and rooftops and a heavy fog blanketed the streets.  At last reaching the docks, I spotted Captain Noggrin’s boat, an assemblage of wood and scrap metal that I hoped was stronger than it looked.

Noggrin’s crew of three helped me push the cart up the gangplank, the ship embarking only a few minutes later.  The engine steadily chugged as the ship braved the choppy waves, icy spray washing the deck.

Dawn’s promising brilliance soon gave way to a cold and paltry morning, a patchwork of dark clouds flung across the sky.  Cutting winds swept the ocean, not so strong as the ones we’d felt earlier in the day.  I visited with Captain Noggrin, who’d been a pro-Alliance blockade-runner during the Second War.

“Wild days, those,” he reminisced.  “Now I’m working for the Horde.  Reckon if a fellow lives long enough, he ends up switching sides a few times.  Suppose you’d know a bit about that yourself.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Not really.  Boltwick Limited paid me to deliver to the Alliance, and Bilgewater wants a cut from what I earn selling fish.  Or ferrying people, if they pay enough.”

I had paid a significant amount for the trip.  In Orgrimmar, I’d lived conservatively on what little I’d earned working for the Darkbriar Lodge, and had saved up enough to be generous.

“How is the fishing?”

“Not as good as it used to be.  I once fished here on long trips out from Ratchet, back before the Cataclysm.  This whole sea teemed with delicious life!  The deck of my old boat sank practically to wave level going back to Ratchet, that’s how many fish we caught!

“Now, it’s not as good.  Too many other anglers, but there’s more than enough for me to make decent coin.  Shame what they did to Azshara, but such is life.”

“You don’t approve of the reshaping?”

“Damned waste of money.”

When Gallywix first came to Azshara, he’d made the strange decision to reshape the landscape into something resembling the Horde symbol.  At no small cost he hired an army of laborers to demolish mountains and move earth, torturing Azshara’s geography.  He had no choice but to break his own rule and hire from outside the Bilgewater Cartel; there’s even a somewhat believable rumor that he’d employed Venture operatives in this project.

Gallywix had wanted to ingratiate himself with the Horde with the project, but the orcs rightfully condemned it as wasteful while the tauren cursed Gallywix’s name in their prayers.  While he was able to collect some ore, a greater amount was destroyed in the demolitions.  Some say that the project’s unpopularity is why Gallywix has made so few appearances since finishing it.

The rust-splotched prow beached itself on sand as the sun began to disappear into the west, the craggy peaks of northern Azshara silhouettes stark against the dying light.  I waded into the surf, two of Captain Noggrin’s crew carrying my cargo.  Seagulls screeched as they fought in the cold air and I could just see the metallic glints on the shells of tiny crabs as they scuttled on the damp sand.

I spotted the mountain of rubble ahead, half-buried under a blanket of lichen.  I remembered how grand it had once looked, a relic of a bygone age wreathed in millennia of history.  There the Lord of the Tides had survived the Sundering and the passage of time, watching over the currents even as the world forgot his existence.  He’d saved me from the naga, asking only that I not let his memory vanish.

I had come to fulfill that promise.  Taking careful steps up the broken pillars and shattered walls, I reached the top of the heap, a place high enough to avoid the tide.  I helped the goblins place the cube of polished black marble on the stone, testing it to make sure it rested on a stable site.

Satisfied, I again read the words on the plaque.

“From this place, Lord Arkkoroc watched the tides since time immemorial.  Hear his name in the swell of the waves, and remember.”

I did not know how long the memorial would survive in such a remote place, but it was the least I could do for the lonely demigod.  I stood in silence for a while, the roaring wind tearing at my coat.  At last I turned and walked down the ruins and back to the boat.


((Comments are appreciated, as always.  Also, those of you with an interest in film should check out This Cinematic Life, the blog of an old friend of mine.  It it, he adds his insight to everything from cutting '90s high school satire to the medium-expanding work of William Castle.))


  1. Excellent entry! I really like friendship between Destron and Daj'yah. She is really cool character, hopefully she will appear in future entries as well. Looking forward for the next chapter!

  2. Thanks!

    Daj'yah will be making more appearances through the Cataclysm sections, mostly in Kalimdor but also some in the Eastern Kingdoms.

  3. Hi Destron,

    I just finished reading through your Azeroth entries again, I hadn't read some of them in years. Sometimes I wish Blizzard would just give you a mountain of cash to use all your little historical and folkloric details as canon, it really feels like you put more thought and care into the smaller details than a lot of authors I read.

    I'm really glad you're taking up the Cataclysm zones. I understand if you don't want to reveal the whole gameplan, but do you have a general path planned for Destron? I.e will he be just travelling to the entirely new zones or will he be checking out things like the Echo Isles and the Southern Barrens? Especially w/r/t the Southern Barrens, I'd like to see how you would handle the kinda muddy timeline issues.

    And I know you've said not to expect Pandaria zones, and the official storyline probably wouldn't handle a perspective like Destron's well, but a man can hope, right? :v

  4. Thanks, Anon. It's good to hear that the travelogue inspires repeat readings.

    I've already planned out the narrator's route, which includes all of the new zones, a few instances (the elemental planes, to be specific), and some of the revamped zones.

    He won't be going to the Echo Isles, but he will be visiting Moonglade, the Southern Barrens, and parts of Stormwind and Lordaeron, to give a few examples. In some cases, a single chapter will cover multiple zones, as the revamped version may not warrant a full chapter to itself.

    The Eastern Kingdoms sections will be much more plot-driven than in the past. It's basically my experimentation with writing something more akin to a novel, so as to stretch my creative muscles a bit (going back to the travelogue in the first place was probably a bit of a stagnant choice, but I figure I might as well experiment where I'm able).

    At some point in the near future I'll be starting on some non-WoW projects that I'll attempt to publish on Amazon. I've actually written most of the Cataclysm material already, so I'll soon be able to make the transition.